11 Corporate Jargon Terms That Must Die in 2010

11 Corporate Jargon Terms That Must Die in 2010

Posted on 31. Dec, 2009 by Business in Business, Commentary

Is anyone else tired of the Corporate Jargon used in the corporate arena? I know I am. Please help this worthy cause by working to eliminate the following 11 terms from your vocabulary next year. You can use the poster below as inspiration.

Corporate Jargon

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Below are the top 11 terms that must die in 2010.

  1. Using one initial in your email for your name
  2. Sustainable
  3. Ping
  4. Elevator pitch
  5. Rightsizing
  6. Offline
  7. Bandwidth
  8. Synergy
  9. In the current economy
  10. Baked In
  11. Hard stop

1. Using one initial in your email for your name (realize not really “jargon” but really annoying)

We get it…you are so busy that you can’t take the time to type out “Chad”…every heard of auto signatures? And with the time you saved typing “C” instead, you can use it to conjure up new ways to make people think you are a douche. Dear C, no one thinks you’re cool. P

2. Sustainable

Wow, you are going with a sustainable solution…nice thinking. My plan was for something that would work just long enough to impress people, then fail miserably. Good thing you are here to provide solutions that last. What would the office do without the sustainable guy? By the way, I don’t think your career is sustainable.

3. Ping

So you’re going to ping me. Is that anything like a Facebook Poke? Tell you what, if you Ping me, I just may go Tiger Woods wife on you with my Ping Driver. Is that what you mean by Pinging me? IT can’t stand they way you have misused their term and they just may ping your email account to see how many times you have used it for personal pinging.

4. Elevator pitch

We get it, you’re in an elevator for less than 30 seconds, so this means a short pitch…funny…no really, we all think it is clever. But in reality, every time I am in the elevator, no one talks…so I will assume that when you say elevator pitch, you really mean you will just stand in the corner, face forward and be very quiet.

5. Rightsizing

So, you really think that this term will help ease the pain of letting people go? Yeah, the person losing their job appreciates that they can be part of a rightsizing effort. It makes them feel part of something good, and really hides the fact that executives are really just trying to shrink G&A to influence shareholders and put more money in their pocket. 2009 was just a year of rightsizing…like making my 8 year old, wear his 4 year old sibling’s clothes.

6. Off-line

You want to take this offline and not discuss in the meeting. Okay. But how come every time you say you want to discuss something offline, it never gets discussed? Wait, I get it now, offline means you don’t want to discuss. Nice job on that one, it took me a while to see that you were really just saying “look, shiny object”.

7. Bandwidth

So you have cleverly used a measure of network or computer speed to describe the capacity of people to do something, or more typically, not do something. You are so smart. Hey, I don’t have the bandwidth to listen to you anymore.

8. Synergy

Okay, so you don’t think the team is synergizing, you think we are working in silos and you want to team to come together, but weren’t you the one that threw everyone under the bus last week! When I hear you use the word synergy, I immediately think, watch out for him!

9. In the Current Economy

We get it…the economy has been bad. And you need a justification for your laziness. In the current economy…your mediocrity still shines through. Thanks for still making me look good…in the current economy.

10. Baked In

You clever boy, you are the corporate chef. Your ideas come with baked in components, ingredients and they are all whipped together. Guess what, you are passed your corporate expiration date, and will need to be thrown out.

11. Hard stop

So you have a hard stop at the end of the week. You can’t imagine how hard it is to not slap you when you say this. Apparently deadlines aren’t good enough…you needed to take it farther with a hard stop. Why not make it a brick wall or a dead end? Oh, yeah, it’s because you are the guy that wears a ring on your pinky…I get it.

Thanks for going offline with me to rightsize my elevator pitch into this post. I almost didn’t have the bandwidth to write a sustainable post with all the elements baked in…especially given the current economy. Let’s continue to synergize this discussion off-line as I have come to a hard stop in my schedule.

P

Below are some classics that just won’t die…please lend your support…as well as some potentials for next year. Please add your comments with your additions to the lists.

Classics Corporate Jargon that just won’t die

  • Paradigms
  • Outside the box
  • Team Player
  • Silo
  • Touchpoint
  • Win-win
  • SME Subject Matter Expert
  • best practices
  • Business as usual
  • In the trenches
  • low-hanging fruit
  • Integrated solution
  • Core competency
  • Buy-in
  • Drill-down
  • Cultivate

Potentially on the list next year

  • Cloud Computing
  • Tweople
  • Mashup
  • SWOT Analysis
  • Social Media
  • Incentivize
Corporate Jargon 2

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44 Responses to “11 Corporate Jargon Terms That Must Die in 2010”

  1. Twitted by bizandthegeek

    31. Dec, 2009

    [...] This post was Twitted by bizandthegeek [...]

  2. Brady

    31. Dec, 2009

    Love the Pink Ring line…how about Soup to Nuts, Dropped the Ball and SMART Goals.

  3. Twitted by rocking_rob

    04. Jan, 2010

    [...] This post was Twitted by rocking_rob [...]

  4. Randy

    04. Jan, 2010

    Great list, thanks. How about “better, faster, cheaper.”

  5. Business

    04. Jan, 2010

    ha…better, faster, cheaper…you just made me remember an old boss…and I threw up in my mouth a little! Thanks for your comment!

  6. Katy

    07. Jan, 2010

    Oh dear – I’m failing on this one. I sign my emails with my initial AND I wrote a post on SMART goals this week. At least I wrote a post on the use of jargon too (Dell using POS as an acronym in a consumer catalog). Does that count?!

  7. Business

    08. Jan, 2010

    ha…yes that does count Katy! remember…the first step is recognition. Thanks for the comment.

  8. misscatch

    06. Feb, 2010

    what about…
    Best in Class
    Lock Step
    Laser focus
    dashboard
    scorecard
    plus all those 1960’s college football coach euphemisms that show up on various memos?

  9. Business

    14. Feb, 2010

    Oh…you hit a nerve with “best in class”…how could I leave that out! And “laser focus” that is primed for destruction. Dr. Evil couldn’t get a fricken “laser”…but we in corporate america get them all day long!

  10. Dan (Leadership Freak)

    15. Mar, 2010

    Too cool! How about monetize?

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    16. Mar, 2010

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  12. Kundun

    09. Apr, 2010

    I’m especially unfond of requests to just do something “quick and dirty.” That means they do want it quick, but dirty isn’t actually acceptable (they would know this if they actually understood what you do!). So, drop everything and work at break-neck speed to pull off a miracle so your boss can dazzle everyone at the meeting, but fully expect the whole thing to “fall off the radar” afterwards. Waste of time.

  13. Rob

    27. Apr, 2010

    Great list, thanks. How about “better, faster, cheaper.”

  14. Tony

    28. Apr, 2010

    [...] This post was Twitted by rocking_rob [...]

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    08. May, 2010

    Remember the only golden rule: “Golden Rules No!” …

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    09. May, 2010

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  17. Gary

    17. May, 2010

    I don’t know when it first came into vogue but the buzzword ’space’ seems to be everywhere. ” We work in this space”, “Do you have much experience in this space”, “we need to focus on this space”. The other expression I come across is “around”, as in, “we are dealing with the problems around that situation” . I can’t stand jargon, buzzwords, all types of gobbledegook – gives me hives. Check out my blog, I write on this subject lot. There’s a good book called ‘Weasel Words’ which is well worth reading, too.

  18. Bruce

    21. May, 2010

    what about…
    Best in Class
    Lock Step
    Laser focus
    dashboard
    scorecard
    plus all those 1960’s college football coach euphemisms that show up on various memos?

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    what about…
    Best in Class
    Lock Step
    Laser focus
    dashboard
    scorecard
    plus all those 1960’s college football coach euphemisms that show up on various memos?

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    what about…
    Best in Class
    Lock Step
    Laser focus
    dashboard
    scorecard
    plus all those 1960’s college football coach euphemisms that show up on various memos?

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